JustJamei.com

Growing up as a child I became accustomed to consistent external validation. I grew up doing homework, class assignments, projects, etc. And each of things would receive feedback. And it’s not that I never struggled at anything in school. But there were clearly measured tests and I could see how I was graded and where I lacked.

In this corporate world will I can meet all the metrics but not achieve a perfect score because there is always room for improvement there is much more ambiguity than my life was structured around.

Almost every aspect of childhood was scrutinized and given feedback. Children could be told good job for walking in a straight line and remaining quiet.

I found feedback to be encouraging because I strived for perfection. The feedback I was given in school was often reinforced at home. Peers gave pretty consistent feedback.

And somehow feedback and encouragement was reduced overtime with age.

When I was good at math I was told I could be an accountant or go into a STEM field etc. There was encouragement and coaching. There was identifying skill sets.

Now I feel common feedback is to keep doing my required work well. I’m encouraged to speak up more. But in a world with other people speaking up and being put down it doesn’t feel safe. Feedback is not just a learning opportunity. It can be detrimental.

Anyone I was never perfect. There were always areas I valued more than others. Academia was under the most scrutiny and my personal behavior so housework was undervalued. Art which I enjoyed very much was a hobby I decreasingly put effort into.

Anyway I realized that I have to measure and encourage myself more than ever now.

As I pray I have to remember what I’ve asked for and what prayers have been answered. I am a believer that every prayer requires some efforts on my part. God can bless me with a harvest if I plant the seeds. God can water the seed and grow the seed.

I have to encourage myself. I have to measure my own progress. I have to tell myself good job. I have to remind myself where I’m slipping.

I hope this message helps you to reflect inwardly and encourage yourself. Accurate assessment- even if critical can be encouraging for change and corrected behavior.