Are you on a self improvement journey?
Because I am on a self improvement journey. I’m in a transition period. There are several beautiful things about myself and my life that I am experiencing now that I used to pray for.
So I am grateful for my current lot in life. But I am certainly not interested in stagnating. I am reluctant to call myself dissatisfied with any aspect of my life. However, there are things that I’d like to change and improve.
Often I struggle to identify what specific changes I would like in my life. So I try to breakout my life sectors in my BRIEFCASE.
- Body
- Relationships
- Introspection
- Environment
- Finances
- Career/Creativity
- Administration
- Spirituality
- Education
Body
When it comes to our bodies society has been telling us there is an unlimited number of things to change to become our peak selves. And what society deems is a peak body is becoming more homogeneous and unnatural. People are losing what makes us unique.
And my version of a bad bitch is not the instagram baddie aesthetic per sè. I’m interested in maximizing my health and beauty but most importantly loving my features.
So I cannot pretend that one of my goals for years has not been to grow my hair- or retain length- as many will argue that growth is not the problem. Yes, I admit I want long and thick and healthy hair.
So for my body goals I am challenging myself- no ponytails.
Did you see that coming? It’s such a simple goal, right?
Ponytails are an easy go to hairstyle. It’s neat enough and convenient.
I am testing a theory that my ponytails may be breaking my hair off. And if I’m wrong about this- I still don’t need to wear them as often because sometimes they cause headaches. And like I said I am on a mission to be a badder bitch. How am I supposed to do that if I only know how to do one hairstyle? So this challenge will also encourage me to practice and experiment other hairstyles on myself.
This challenge is an act of love for myself.
I’d like to do this challenge for the next 45 days. I’ll give an update on how it goes.
Similar to my no ponytail challenge I will also take a 45 day break from lashes and mascara.
This is a serious challenge because my birthday is happening within these next days and I’ve always felt an essential to my make up was lashes or mascara. But a bad bitch knows she’s beautiful with or without make up.
And a few loose goals is to increase movement, moisturization, sleep, and hydration .
There are more goals to implement later but I don’t want to overwhelm myself and give up entirely. Plus this is just the B of the briefcase. I’ve still got 8 more life sectors to go.
Relationships
For my relationships I know an area I’d like to work on. I want better boundaries.
I am a kind hearted person and I enjoy being helpful. I also have a bad case of fomo. So I try to make invitations work even when they don’t make sense.
I have a tendency to overspend. I pour so much into others and what I do isn’t practical for anyone. I often feel burnt out. Over giving is unsustainable. This behavior causes me to neglect myself and resent the people closest to me. And it’s my own fault.
So to foster healthier relationships my new practice for the next 45 days is:
No ENTHUSIASTIC Yes means NO!
But big B- I am unsure what this means for the commitments that I previously made that I am unenthusiastic about that fall into this window.
And don’t get me wrong- I am not using this as an excuse to no longer support my village. There are some things that I can do to support others that I am happy to do.
Sometimes I am so honored that someone even asked for my help I immediately feel like I have to do it. And not out of duty and obligation but something more akin to gratitude, generosity, and love. I love pouring into people I admire especially those that pour into me or those around me.
I feel bad saying no, rejecting invitations, and disappointing anyone. And I don’t like that for myself.
Saying no is not bad. And no is a complete sentence. But this is uncomfortable for me.
So I tend to say yes fast.
Another practice I will be implementing is taking a pause for the cause. I don’t want to over promise and under deliver. Or make commitments that hurt me in some way. So my goal for the next 45 days is not to make immediate commitments. I will think before I answer. I’d prefer to end the conversation entirely and respond much later or wait at least an hour before responding via digital communication.
These two practices are new to me. My yeses are usually constrained to if it’s possible. Even if it’s impractical and costly. Bad bitches know their worth.
Future me needs to be as important to me as my loved ones are. And a no today is better than me becoming resentful tomorrow. And even if others become resentful because of my better judgment the relationship will naturally adjust.
Introspection
This post is pretty introspective. I want to know myself. I am working toward becoming more decisive and direct.
Doomscrolling is a problem for nearly everyone with a smartphone. I don’t have much time when I’m not consuming some form of media. It’s impacting my attention span and my thinking in general.
I’m convinced my doomscrolling is a cause of my decision fatigue.
But I’m not consuming media when I’m creating. So my goal for the next 45 days is to publish at least one post per day.
Ideally I’ll be spending much less time aimlessly online. I’ll likely start multiple posts and ultimately complete one. Maybe I’ll complete more but following a topic through to completion is something I am working on.
Posting everyday means that I have to stand by my words and trust myself.
Environment
As I’m writing I’m noticing a theme of creating a challenge that has to be consistently sustained over the next 45 days. A daily goal will build a streak and a habit. And ultimately I’m hoping these sustained daily goals shift my mindset.
I am messy and unorganized but changing my entire home is daunting and will discourage me. A daily cleaning challenge is possible but will be discouraging on low energy days. I do have chronic conditions that make me want to be immobile all day.
But my goal for the next 45 days will be to clear dishes in the sink before bed. And to make my bed daily.
When I make my bed it starts my day off with a small productive thing checked. And it feels more pleasant when I go to bed and it’s made.
These two things are about mindset shifts in my environment. And when I’m feeling ill it will force me to move a little. I will have to get out of the bed to make it. And then I won’t want to ruin it right away.
I also want to shift my brain to prepare to sleep when I go to bed. I tend to ruminate at night. I’m testing out having a made bed and no dishes helping me ease into sleep at night. There are other things I hope will help but this is how my environment goals will help my body goals of more rest. And my environment goals will help my mental health. A cleaner place ideally will also reduce mental clutter.
I also have a goal of finding a new place to live with my partner. So our environment will be changing. But wherever we go I want to build these habits.
Finances
I’ve mentioned already that I tend to overspend. My finances are complicated. I like many Americans have student loan debt and other consumer debt. But I also own an asset- my duplex which I rent out. I also own my car outright; I don’t have a car note.
I make a combination of strategic and ill advised financial decisions.
My next 45 days challenge is daily paying off my Credit Card. That way I will get the rewards and cash back bonuses and keep my credit utilization low. And it will be less daunting than paying at the end of the month. This will disincentivize me from spending. I will become more familiar with exactly how much I have in my account and how much I have spent each day. This will encourage me not to have debt.
Additionally my new mantra around excess spending is: No money to spend until no debt.
Of course I will still budget gifts and going out. But I will have a strict budget. I mentioned the goal of moving earlier. That’s expensive.
I also want to pay off my debts more aggressively. This general goal will help my credit score. Which I need to improve to qualify for another apartment.
Career
I also recently added creativity to the career section. I used to have an arts section in the briefcaase. Yes, two A’s. But I want my creative interests to guide my career. Removing the arts section just makes the most sense. Briefcase is so sleek. And art can be self expression- so it connects to introspection and hobbies are work even if unpaid.
And as far as unpaid labor goes if you’re here you can also see that I’m a writer. Additionally, I work in healthcare finance as an analyst.My goal is to advance both careers simultaneously. My artistic pursuits are currently a personal project.
I would like to go up the corporate ladder in finance. I think analysis has an art to it as well. I also need to improve my finance career to fund my creative projects.
My long term goal is managing my own businesses. Understanding corporate finance and furthering my creative expertise is essential for whatever business I create.
My 45 day challenge to enhance my career was mentioned earlier. I will publish at least one daily post.
Administration
This is an area I struggle with. And it’s very connected to finances but it’s still its own category. Administration is the responsible things I need to do as an adult, such as, filing my taxes, paying my bills, checking my mail and emails, etc.
A big administrative task is paying off all outstanding tickets. I also need to set up EZ pass in my car; which means I need to resolve all of my EZ pass debt first. And I need to set up autopay for my remaining debt balances.
As a bad bitch I desire convenience and accessibility. I don’t want to lose my car and restrict my driving due to irresponsibility.
And a habit that I’d like to build for the next 45 days is daily checking my mail, messages, and emails. It seems so small but doing this stresses me out. My goal by the end of the 45 days is not to have anxiety checking the mail and following up with people.
Also a general new rule for myself is not putting off problems for later. I will become more proactive. This is also connected to my introspection. I hope this will build up my decisiveness.
Spirituality
I am a nondenominational Christian. My relationship to God is very important to me. And I like to informed about the bible.
Being a good person is essential for me as a Christian. I do have my own moral compass that helps me define goodness for myself but stories from the bible also are a guide.
People love to share their interpretation of scripture and I do occasionally like to hear other people’s opinions scriptures and testimonials. However, people’s interpretations vary and I am determined to form my own informed opinions.
2 years ago I read the entire NIV version of the bible. And I plan to read the entire bible again.
Here is where I will be deviating from the 45 days challenge pattern. I have found a copy of an English version of the Ethiopian bible. I am giving myself 100 days to read this version.
The goal is not to speed read through it and forget half of what I read. I want to take my time with it. But I know I don’t need too much time. Don’t they say an idle mind is the devils playground? I know if I give myself more time than necessary I likely won’t do it at all.
God is so meaningful to mean that I do not believe that I can be most optimal self without God’s intervention. And I believe the best guide for my life is the words God inspired others to write.
Education
And finally I think the baddest bitches are smart.
And there are many forms of genius and intelligence. I am not going to limit myself to one specific kind.
I aspire to gain wisdom in my crafts from experience.
And months ago I signed for a bartending class- which I did not complete once I had an H-EDS flare up. But my goal is to complete the course.
I was going to sum up all of my rules and goals on my journey to upgrading my life but I don’t want to. And no ENTHUSIASTIC yes means no.
Thank you for reading to the end. I hope opening up my briefcase and discussing what I’m challenging myself to do to improve my life inspires you.
I encourage comments about what you’re doing to improve yourself and what stands out to you. If you’re going to do a level up challenge as well type BB45!
JustJamei.com 
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